Have you ever felt like you don’t belong or have feelings of chronic self-doubt, feelings of being a fraud and feelings of anxiety?
You are not alone.
Research shows that 85% of high achieving women are more likely to experience feelings of inadequacies and self-doubt.
When I first learned the term "imposter syndrome", I had no idea what it meant exactly nor how it would accurately define some of my own feelings.
Imposter syndrome - there are several definitions, however, here is one i'll use: the fear of being exposed as a fraud even with evident success and proof of competence.
Instead of attributing success to experience, knowlege and skill, the tendency is to engage in self-doubt, comparison, and feelings of being exposed as a fraud.
Can you relate?
If so, you’re probably experiencing (or have experienced) imposter syndrome.
Signs You Might Be Suffering from Imposter Syndrome
Do you relate to any of these patterns?
● Perfectionism. You set high goals for yourself. Because everything must be perfect, the smallest mistakes can make you feel incompetent.
● Attribute success to luck. Downplaying your success because you do not believe you're deserving. Never believing you could actually reach a level of success.
● Instead of celebrating your accomplishments, you worry that others will see “the truth” and shrug off accolades.
● Fear of failure. You set challenging goals and take on extra work because you have to “do it all”.
● You engage or buy in to negative self-talk.
● You do not ask for help or have difficulty asking for help because you believe in doing so, you may be seen as unintelligent and unqualified.
Imposter syndrome can wreak havoc on your confidence and prevent you from seeking out new opportunities.
7 steps to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
1. Acknowledge your feelings. Instead of engaging in thoughts of self-doubt, accept that your response is normal.
2. Examine the root of the causes of your fears. Focus on facts, not feelings. Are your feelings accurate, do you believe that you don’t deserve success or that you are a fraud?
3. How do you measure success?
Keep a record of your achievements and celebrate when you've achieved your mark of success.
4. Is your thought process helping you or hindering you? Be mindful of your thoughts, extend to yourself kindness and limit self-doubt and judgement.
5. Reframe your thoughts. Instead of saying you don’t deserve success, give yourself the credit you deserve so that you can focus on healthy self-growth.
● Own your accomplishments
● Set smaller goals and set boundaries.
● Remember there is never a “perfect time.”
● Accept that we all have to start somewhere.
6. Failure doesn't mean you are a fraud. Learning from your mistakes is the key to to developing a healthier response to your feelings.
7. Reach out for support. Having a safe space to receive support will help you reduce feelings of being an imposter. When you begin to feel imperfect, make a mistake, or receive a compliment, your first instinct may be to hide.
It is important to get the support you need from a life coach, therapist or colleague to help you maintain a practical perspective. Having the right support makes all the difference.
● Say “thank you” when you receive a compliment.
● Talk about your fears and practice being honest with your feelings.
● Share and celebrate your achievements and successes.
Imposter syndrome can be hard to break, but part overcoming it involves remembering that no one is perfect and you can can only do your personal best. Learning and making mistakes do not make you a fraud - it makes you human.
Instead of doubting yourself, take the above steps towards building your self-esteem and self-worth.
References:
https://info.kpmg.us/news-perspectives/people-culture/kpmg-study-finds-most-female-executives-experience-imposter-syndrome.html
https://www.simplypsychology.org/imposter-syndrome.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome